Have you ever searched the tag “fat” on Tumblr?
It’s heartbreaking. The amount of negativity and unhappiness applied to the word is terrible.
Every time I search it, I see posts about self harm, feeling terrible for eating, being made fun of/insulted by friends/family/people in general, and personal disappointment.
I wish I could reach out to all of the people who post things like that and tell them something that would help them feel better about themselves. Anything to help.
I’d tell them that it’s okay to eat. You shouldn’t make yourself feel guilty over it. It’s a necessary part of being alive. Even if you are on a “diet” and you mess up, that’s okay. It doesn’t make you any less of a person. The people who make fun of you/insult you/try to hurt you due to your weight or appearance are likely people who are upset over something in their own life and are taking out their frustration on you. And they are not worthy of your attention, time, or tears.
You shouldn’t hurt yourself. I know from personal experience that it may seem like it makes you feel better, but it’s just a rush of chemicals and the feeling won’t last and you’ll only end up feeling worse and feeling regret.
The word fat is not be a negative term. It’s just that, a term. A descriptive word. It’s not a bad word, or a mean word. Just a descriptive one. Being fat isn’t bad.
One thing I hate more than anything is when I refer to myself as fat, and the person I’m with (usually a friend with good intentions) will say something along the lines of “Oh you’re not fat! Don’t say that about yourself! You’re just chubby!”. As if the word fat implies some negative aspect. As if that word means something bad, and by using it to describe myself, I am becoming that negative thing.
But I am fat.
I am indeed quite chubby, but I honestly feel the word fat is the best description of my body type. And it’s not a bad thing. I am still a good person, I still look smoking hot in a mini skirt, I’m still perfectly healthy (with perfect cholesterol, blood sugar, isotope, and blood pressure levels), and I’m happy with myself and my appearance. Calling myself fat doesn’t change any of that. It simply provides a description of my body type.
I imagine that many of you are familiar with Brittany, the bombshell who runs the Tumblog The Fat Girls Guide. She has made numerous posts on the topic of the word fat and the negative annotations it has accumulated recently.
(If you haven’t yet, zoom on over to her blog and fall in love. She truly is one of my favourite bloggers to read because she speaks so honestly and she is completely fabulous, comfortable, and happy in her own skin.
Another thing I hate: How terrible women are to each other. If any of you are familiar with Jenna Marbles, the popular youtube comedian, she mentions this in many of her videos. Women and girls tend to hate each other for no reason at all. They constantly bash on each other as if to knock each other down on the social totem pole. And it sucks. But more and more frequently I have begun to hear the word fat being used as a tool to do this dirty work.
A girlfriend of mine recently found out that her ex is dating someone new and she instantly said “oh, that girl is ugly, and fat.” As if it made her feel better. I understand that my friend was upset, but the context of her words made it appear that she felt the word fat was a bad thing, and there for an appropriate choice. But she was very very wrong. I have been guilty of saying ignorant and hurtful things like this in the past, we all have. We may not even realize that we are doing it. Hell, some of the worst things have been done with the best of intentions. But we all need to stop for a second and think about our words and the effects that they are having on the people around us.
“Real women have curves.”
“Bones are for dogs.”
“Who would want to date a stick?”
I have heard these, and many more phrases be said by women claiming to be “body positive”. How are any of these body positive? How are you helping anyone by bashing the body type opposite yours? That’s just it. You aren’t. You are simply shifting what you believe is the social norm. Instead of making fun of fat/larger people, you are encouraging people to make fun of skinny/smaller people. This is absolutely not right. The point of being body positive is to be positive. How can you feel okay insulting other women, the same way that you yourself have been insulted?
What we need to do is spread the message that all bodies are good bodies. Are women are real women. All people are beautiful people. You must be the change that you want to see in the world. Be kind to people, and spread confidence.
You will not achieve anything if you fill your heart and your mind with negativity. So next time, before you say something that glamorizes one body type by bashing another, think first. Think about who you will be hurting and think about how you have been hurt. You don’t know anything about this person or their life and body. And even if you do, it’s none of your business. We have all been through a great deal and instead of bashing one another, we need to support each other. The point of being body positive is to be POSITIVE. Not to bash other people or body types. Trying to make yourself feel more accomplished by making other people feel less will do nothing but turn you into everything that you hate.
All women are beautiful and all body types are beautiful. I am obviously dedicated to blogging about plus size/chubby/fat women, because I am one of them and it’s what I love and know. But that doesn’t mean that I have anything against women who have different body sizes and shapes than I do. I have respect for all sizes and shapes and I believe beauty comes in all of them.
Thanks for reading. And remember, above all things, respect one another and be proud of yourself.
Original source: Emily Spencer (Emily Persephone)
Via ~Flesh And Bone~